Attract Instant Respect by Applying
Psychology-Based Strategies (Part 1-3)
Gaining the respect of your peers is essential in every facet of
life, especially in a competitive environment. When someone respects you, they
accept you as a person and value what you have to offer. Typically, acquiring
respect would require a lengthy process of proving oneself. You might gradually
demonstrate your good character by consistently acting with honesty and
integrity.
What about those times when you need to gain someone’s respect
quickly? For example, you might only have a short conversation in which to gain
the respect of a potential employer, an important customer, or your future
in-laws. Below, I’ve devised a list of powerful psychology-based strategies you
can apply to attract respect instantly. You’ll still want to put in the effort
to develop and maintain good character, but these steps can definitely speed up
the process.
1.
Guard Your Time
This strategy is first on the list because as a society we have
become a little self-absorbed. As such, disrespecting one another’s time has
become commonplace. Think about how often friends, dates, or work colleagues
just show up late and offer little in the way of excuse. Simply shrugging as if
it’s the most normal thing in the world. Well, it shouldn’t be.
The fact is, when someone doesn’t respect you, they don’t respect
your time. They show up early or more likely late, over and over, they forget
to call when they say they would, or they insist you rush over to help them
with little warning. Why? Because they are subconsciously asserting themselves
over you and your needs. They have decided that you don’t matter as much as
them.
When people behave this way, they are demonstrating that their time
is more important than yours and often demonstrating that they never even gave
your time a second thought. It’s not only selfish behavior from them, but
submissive behavior from you.
The flip side is that by protecting your personal time, you can instantly
elicit immediate respect. This is particularly crucial in relationships and
also in friendships and even at work, where technology is now allowing
employers to invade personal time with text messages and emails.
Don’t stand for it. You are worth more than that.
Rules for guarding your time.
- Don’t allow yourself to always be available. You have a life and
others should respect that.
- Don’t be afraid to say no. Help out when and if you want to. Don’t feel
obliged.
- Never sit around waiting for a phone call—use your time.
- Call out friends/family on their behavior if they are always late. Politely
but firmly tell them it is unfair.
- Allow yourself downtime. This is a time
for yourself. No one should intrude.
You should respect others enough to accept that life sometimes gets in the way.
But at the same time, don’t give them a free pass. If someone arrives late or
misses an appointment a couple of times, bring it up before it becomes a habit.
Calmly mention that while you understand how busy they are, you are busy too.
Let them know that your time is valuable and that, in the future, you’d
appreciate a quick call or message to advise that they are running late. This
way you neither of you will end up wasting your time. More importantly, you are
communicating that your time is important, and this will generate respect.
2.
Take A Pause
Often when we enter a room, we hurry. This is especially true when
we are preparing to be interviewed or give a presentation in front of an
audience. If you are nervous, there is a tendency to feel rushed. However, by
diving right in you are actually giving away your power. In essence, you are demonstrating once again, that
their time is more important than yours, and so you hurry along not to waste
the opportunity.
Switch the script. Take as much time as you need to compose
yourself. Slow down and take a pause, even an animated one.
- Take a look at your audience, and acknowledge their presence. Smile.
- Though it might seem like an eternity when you are standing
center stage, take that last deep breath. It only uses a few seconds. In that
time, you establish anticipation. This is one key to instant respect.
-While they have been waiting you have become their sole focus and
created a commanding presence. Now they are ready to really listen to what you
have to say or do. You can use this same strategy in personal interactions as
well.
3.
Use Body Language
to Command Space
We sometimes subconsciously reduce the way others perceive our
worth by making ourselves physically small. If you are uncertain or
uncomfortable, you might feel as though you are invading the other person’s
space, and so you try to be as unobtrusive as possible. You stand in one spot
near the corner during the entire party with your arms crossed close to your
body. During the presentation you stand directly behind the podium, clutching
your notes. This is the opposite of what you should do in competition,
presentations or group interactions where you want to attract respect or even acceptance.
-
Instead, try gesticulating away from your body. Use your arms a
little to open a space in front.
-
Use your palms face up and don’t cross your limbs in front of your
body
-
Roll your shoulders back a touch and take deeper breaths, to
inflate your chest.
-
Instead of standing still, move around. You can even pace a
little.
The more open you are with your body language
and your confidence to move about, the more you demonstrate your desire to be
seen and heard. Your presence is every bit as valid as anyone else’s so let it
be known. Using your body language to command the space is the second strategy
to instantly attract attention and respect.
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