6 Proven Tricks to get Instant Respect

Attract Instant Respect by Applying Psychology-Based Strategies (Part 1-3)

Gaining the respect of your peers is essential in every facet of life, especially in a competitive environment. When someone respects you, they accept you as a person and value what you have to offer. Typically, acquiring respect would require a lengthy process of proving oneself. You might gradually demonstrate your good character by consistently acting with honesty and integrity.

What about those times when you need to gain someone’s respect quickly? For example, you might only have a short conversation in which to gain the respect of a potential employer, an important customer, or your future in-laws. Below, I’ve devised a list of powerful psychology-based strategies you can apply to attract respect instantly. You’ll still want to put in the effort to develop and maintain good character, but these steps can definitely speed up the process.

1.          Guard Your Time

This strategy is first on the list because as a society we have become a little self-absorbed. As such, disrespecting one another’s time has become commonplace. Think about how often friends, dates, or work colleagues just show up late and offer little in the way of excuse. Simply shrugging as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. Well, it shouldn’t be.

The fact is, when someone doesn’t respect you, they don’t respect your time. They show up early or more likely late, over and over, they forget to call when they say they would, or they insist you rush over to help them with little warning. Why? Because they are subconsciously asserting themselves over you and your needs. They have decided that you don’t matter as much as them.

When people behave this way, they are demonstrating that their time is more important than yours and often demonstrating that they never even gave your time a second thought. It’s not only selfish behavior from them, but submissive behavior from you.

The flip side is that by protecting your personal time, you can instantly elicit immediate respect. This is particularly crucial in relationships and also in friendships and even at work, where technology is now allowing employers to invade personal time with text messages and emails.

Don’t stand for it. You are worth more than that.

Rules for guarding your time.

- Don’t allow yourself to always be available. You have a life and others should respect that.
- Don’t be afraid to say no. Help out when and if you want to. Don’t feel obliged.

- Never sit around waiting for a phone call—use your time.
- Call out friends/family on their behavior if they are always late. Politely but firmly tell them it is unfair.
- Allow yourself downtime. This is a time for yourself. No one should intrude.


You should respect others enough to accept that life sometimes gets in the way. But at the same time, don’t give them a free pass. If someone arrives late or misses an appointment a couple of times, bring it up before it becomes a habit. Calmly mention that while you understand how busy they are, you are busy too. Let them know that your time is valuable and that, in the future, you’d appreciate a quick call or message to advise that they are running late. This way you neither of you will end up wasting your time. More importantly, you are communicating that your time is important, and this will generate respect.

2.         Take A Pause

Often when we enter a room, we hurry. This is especially true when we are preparing to be interviewed or give a presentation in front of an audience. If you are nervous, there is a tendency to feel rushed. However, by diving right in you are actually giving away your power. In essence, you are demonstrating once again, that their time is more important than yours, and so you hurry along not to waste the opportunity.

Switch the script. Take as much time as you need to compose yourself. Slow down and take a pause, even an animated one.

- Take a look at your audience, and acknowledge their presence. Smile.

- Though it might seem like an eternity when you are standing center stage, take that last deep breath. It only uses a few seconds. In that time, you establish anticipation. This is one key to instant respect.

-While they have been waiting you have become their sole focus and created a commanding presence. Now they are ready to really listen to what you have to say or do. You can use this same strategy in personal interactions as well.

3.         Use Body Language to Command Space

We sometimes subconsciously reduce the way others perceive our worth by making ourselves physically small. If you are uncertain or uncomfortable, you might feel as though you are invading the other person’s space, and so you try to be as unobtrusive as possible. You stand in one spot near the corner during the entire party with your arms crossed close to your body. During the presentation you stand directly behind the podium, clutching your notes. This is the opposite of what you should do in competition, presentations or group interactions where you want to attract respect or even acceptance.

-            Instead, try gesticulating away from your body. Use your arms a little to open a space in front.

-            Use your palms face up and don’t cross your limbs in front of your body

-            Roll your shoulders back a touch and take deeper breaths, to inflate your chest.

-            Instead of standing still, move around. You can even pace a little.

The more open you are with your body language and your confidence to move about, the more you demonstrate your desire to be seen and heard. Your presence is every bit as valid as anyone else’s so let it be known. Using your body language to command the space is the second strategy to instantly attract attention and respect.